Prime-ministerial logic!

The police and the security services should be allowed to spy on all emails and phone calls made in the UK because it works on the TV spy shows the prime minister watches. Nice one, Dave!

An apology too far? Check out the reason.

Prime ministers have made irrelevant grovelling apologies for all sorts of stuff in the past. But apologizing to Arthur Scaregill for not letting him cripple the country on behalf of miners at grossly subsidized pits would be . . . the pits. Especially as it’s just an attempt by the Labour party to distract attention from how well the Tories are repairing the disaster which New Labour inflicted on the British economy. Dave the Leader needs to administer a severe clip round the ear to the agitators and tell them to get lost and stay lost.

No change

At least E. Balls is showing consistency. Old BallsUp made a bog of things when he was telling Gordon Brown how to ru(i)n the economy during the New Labour disaster, and he’s making a bog of predicting the progress of the economy now the Tories are repairing his party’s mess.

No credibility

So the Public Accounts Committee has had a go at the Queen over her domestic finances? Isn’t it run by the Labour MP Margaret Hodge, who used to be in charge of covering up child abuse in the People’s Republic of Islington? And a member of New Labour, which promised an end to boom ‘n’ bust just before dumping the country into the biggest bust of all time through Gordon Brown’s reckless spending and letting his mates wreck the banking system? Let us not forget who gave Fred the Shred his K. Or the shining examples of how to ru(i)n things Hodge’s mates awarded us between 1997 and 2010.

Deluded garbage

“Looking after your world”, it says on the side of the van I’m looking at. Really? And who’s claiming that? British Gas. Well, I can say for certain that they’re not looking after my world, which makes their slogan a black lie. So is there an Advertising Standards Authority equivalent for vans? If not, there should be!

Does anyone still do the job he’s paid to do?

What exactly is the public sector for? The UK Border Force had decided to ignore the law that says it’s illegal for people to bring cannabis into the country in their luggage if it’s a “personal use” amount, and there are so few customs officers at Stansted, Britain’s 4th biggest airport, that it’s now a great place to smuggle in dodgy goods. Is this Schengen by the back door?

Good News!

A bloke who made a citizen’s arrest on 2 thieves,and ended up in court because of it, has had the case tossed by a jury in record time. The thieves got just £75 fines, after one had received 2 broken legs and a broken arm in a fight with their victim, who could have got life imprisonment if the Can’t Prosecute Service had got its way.

Not much real news, then?

Does anyone really care that Lord Grope thinks he’s entitled to maul any woman who strays into his reach? I suppose it’s reassuring that there has to be nothing really terrible happening in the world if the papers can stay so obsessed by the in-fighting among the leadership rivals of the Trivial Democrats.

Actually, no, mate!

I know Americans are notorious for their ignorance of basic geography, but you’d expect there to be some exceptions. Like the people involved in American football. But no. They keep saying “See you in New York” when talking about the coming Super Bowl, even though it will be played at the stadium shared by the Giants and the Jets . . . in New Jersey. Which means that anyone who turns up in New York expecting his freebies on Super Bowl Sunday will be sadly disappointed as well as baffled.

Conspiracy Theory

Why did Red Ed Miliband have a go at the big banks recently and wipe £500 zillion off the share prices? Well, he was a member of the government under Gordon Broon, which got LloydsTSB to take over the busted Halifax Bank of Scotland to save Labour votes in Scotland. So maybe he’s doing it to sabotage the sell-off of the currently taxpayer-owned Lloyds Bank out of some sort of twisted loyalty to Brown plus Labour self-interest.

It’s only coming out of the taxpayer’s pocket

There is no guarantee that the infamous high-speed rail link between London and Birmingham will ever be built, but that hasn’t stopped the appointment of a construction chief, who will get a salary of £750,000 from the taxpayer (plus perks), even though there’s nothing for him to construct.

Job creation, nothing more

Is anyone surprised to learn that the No Such Agency in the United States has been issuing overblown and misleading claims about the success of its surveillance of phone calls and email traffic in Europe? The spooks must be making a hell of a lot of money out of messing about with their collections, and sitting in an office, making up threats, is a whole lot safer than being out in the field with the risk of running into guys with guns and murder in mind.

See a number, don’t believe it

We came to expect under New Labour that every statistic the government offered would be a lie. But you kind of expect the police, the guardians of law & order, to be an exception. But they have been corrupted thoroughly too, and the UK Statistics Authority is now refusing to accept their crime figures because the data can’t be trusted. Too many top coppers are downgrading, ignoring and reclassifying crimes to create an illusion of meeting targets and falling crime rates. Maybe they should make issuing falsified official statistics a criminal offence and start arresting the blighters and sending them to gaol.

No no-blamesters?

“People ought to know that if they stuff themselves silly with high-calorie rubbish foods, they’ll get fat,” Lord Tebbit told the House of Lords. And the big surprise is that he didn’t get howled down by all the gang on the Labour and Liberal benches who think people aren’t responsible for their own actions, and the State is always obliged to pick up the pieces.

Help!

If sugar is the new tobacco, would someone kindly tell me how to smoke it? It keeps falling out of the cigarette papers and clogging up solid in a pipe.

Duffer doing duff job

Out of curiosity, I watched the latest episode of Sherlock on the BBC’s iPlayer. Dog’s breakfast, daft plot and the end of Mr. Charles Augustus MilverMurdoch was a farce. This writer is just not trying. [Or very trying in another sense of the word!] Whichever, he’s not up to the job.

Constantly there

There seem to be 3 things stuck in the news right now: Nigella, fatness and the police. The latest from the last is that the head of ACPO thinks that if junior coppers don’t get a huge pay rise, they’ll start taking bribes like a bunch of 3rd-Worlders. Which doesn’t say much for police selection and training methods.

No danger of any prosecutions, though?

You couldn’t make it up. HM Inspectorate of Constabulary is to get an extra NINE MILLION QUID PER YEAR to stop police “services” fiddling crime figures and making serious crimes vanish into thin air to make their statistics look better. Misconduct in a public office on an epic scale, but as it’s the police, they are allowed to get away with it. Mind-boggling!

Something doesn’t add up

PC Wallis, the copper who lied about being there at Tory whip Andrew Mitchell’s confrontation with stroppy coppers, claims he had psychiatric problems at the time, and that’s a good reason for not sending him to gaol for misconduct in a public office. Strange that none of his supervising officers spotted that he was totally unfit for duty, though.

Oh, to be so fireproof

Vince Cable, alleged Lib-Dem financial genius and Business Minister, thought the price of the Royal Mail shares was set about right at the sell-off, and any immediate profits were just a bubble. The current share price is 70% above what the taxpayer got and his fellow MPs are not impressed by the non-bursting bubble. No sign of the sack for Vince, of course.

The politician's bottom line is always the cash

D. Cameron, alleged Tory party leader, has decided that the current storms are caused by man-made global warming, and he'll be using them to justify further assaults on the taxpayer in the name of stopping the unstoppable – after all, you can't stop something that isn't happening. So much for ditching the green crap.

And the biscuit goes to . . .

You really have to wonder what goes on in the heads of our nation’s MPs. The latest from Eddie “economy wrecker” Balls is the delusion that he could form a coalition with Nick “Total Calamity” Clegg after the next election. Which makes one wonder if Eddie Baby hasn’t been on a freebie to Colorado recently, where it’s now legal to buy dope for personal smoking use.

What next? I scarcely dare to ask myself

No wonder they call them the Trivial Democrats if characters like the alleged business minister, Jo Swinson, think it would be a good idea for MPs to drag babies in and out of the Commons voting lobbies.

Big enjoyment time!

There’s lots of excitement among the American football fans at the Mansion, especially with a 4-match weekend on offer. What are they going to do with themselves when it’s all over, though? I ask myself.

Delusion, delusions!

It’s amazing how quickly failed politicians go ga-ga. Jack Straw would now have us believe that he could have kept Tony Blair in Downing Street, despite the looming menace of Wee Gordie Broon, a lot longer if Blair hadn’t sacked him as Foreign Secretary in 2005 because George Dubya Bush ordered him to!

What’s her game?

What is the story on the woman who’s been claiming so loudly that getting a bit of chicken in a vegetarian meal has ruined her entire life? Rampant exhibitionism? Compensation culture? Total hysteria and inability to cope with reality? Perm any two from three?

More ways to spend our money

The government, it seems, is going to bribe train companies to replace 1st class carriages with 2nd class to give commuters the illusion that something is being done about overcrowding. Interestingly, Labour plans to oppose the policy. Why? It’s been suggested they see it as a threat to their free 1st-class rail travel courtesy of the taxpayer.

One in the eye for them!

Into the new year with a laugh – a bunch of Aussie Global Warming Swindlers, who went to the Arctic to “prove” that the ice is about to disappear thanks to man-made global warming, are stuck there and THREE ice-breakers have failed to extract them so far.