Don’t you wish he’d concentrate on something important?

Big laugh of the day, Dave the Leader of Britain being told off from all sides over his latest bit of control-freakery. He wants to ruin everything for Britain’s decent citizens by slapping a big tax on booze in the name of making people stop consuming quite so much. No worries about it being illegal under EU law, or that he’s taking cash out of the pockets of honest workers like the staff at the Mansion. No concern for the country’s really important problems. He just can’t resist the urge to do-goodery, which is the curse of all hack politicians.

Do as I say, not as I do?

I happened to see some WWE “wrestling” and there was a break in one of the ring dramas for a plug for the WWE’s anti-bullying campaign, which provoked general derision in the audience for an outfit which runs on institutional bullying – usually by a gang of 4 “superstars”, who spend more time posturing than actually doing anything resembling wrestling, and who are granted the right to do pretend beatings-up on everyone in the locker room without being ganged up on individually and having the crap beaten out of them with baseball bats. WWH for hypocrisy?

National treasure to national trash

It’s amusing to watch Sir David Attenborough being clobbered from all sides now that his story of cuddly polar bears has been outed as something filmed in a zoo rather than the work of a camera team working in the frozen North, which is soon to become the thawed north when the dreaded Global Warming gets it. It’s not quite on the same scale as a TV evangelist being caught with his pants down and the pockets full of cash stolen from his disciples. But it’s a start.

Well, I never did!

If you want to know the latest piece of totally daft research, look no further than the Daily Disaster. Today’s issue reveals that if you want to booze less, you should do your drinking when there’s no loud music playing. Presumably, people get reckless when they can’t hear themselves drinking. But in the absence of a din, they get embarrassed by the horrible slurping noises and don’t drink as much. No doubt it was taxpayer’s money which funded this latest revelation.

Pointless slogans?

Back in Blighty, just missed the storms and the sun is shining for a visit by my financial advisor. While studying one of the bits of paper he was waving around, I happened to notice that the motto of ING Direct is A decent way to do banking. Which started me doing a reverse test. Would any bank describe itself as an indecent way to do banking?
    Even the Northern Rock, and the Royal Bank of Scotland under Fred the Shred, wouldn’t have admitted doing business in a financially reckless and indecent way before they collapsed. So the motto is pretty New Labour: sounds as if it might be good but fails to stand up to close scrutiny.

Mine are okay!

In case anyone is worrying about my wind-farm investment while you lot in the UK are being blown to bits by freezing gales, windmills are being blown over and even catching fire and setting fire to everything around them . . . I phoned the manager from sunny Florida, and had a look at the actual wind farm via satellite through breaks in the cloud, and everything is okay.

Common sense is out of fashion

A recession is not necessarily a national disaster. If your income stops growing, a normal person [i.e. someone who isn’t Gordon Brown] makes sure that spending doesn’t exceed income, and even cuts down to leave a bit of a margin. Governments could do the same but, unfortunately, we seem to be permanently stuck with politicians and civil servants with no grasp of simple economics and no contact with the real world.